Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 


The roof hangs low above me--
I built it brick by brick--
But now the stones are cracking
And I don't know which to pick.

Which piece do I repair?
And let another fall?
Or do I sacrifice myself
And try to save them all?

No, then, I'll rip it down myself
And breakthrough to the sky...

          Until I see this roof's a floor,
          So tumbling down I'll fly.
©2008-2009 ~hpets
:iconhpets:

Author's Comments

A bit of explanation... First of all, don't read too much into my life through this; this is only loosely based on personal experience. Really, I figure everyone's felt this way at some point.

Secondly, I was reading "Alice in Wonderland" when I came up with this. (In fact, I wrote it in class while we were discussing the book... ;) ) There was very likely some influence there.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconknifeeven:
Absolutely brilliant. I don't normally read poetry, but this really got through to me. :D

--
Dementia: Nature's way of making your retirement more interesting.
:iconhpets:
Well, thank you very much! :aww:

--
Beware the Evil Spork! :spork:
"There is no utensil of more unrelenting malice..."


"Always be yourself... unless you suck." (Joss Whedon)
:iconzirconfortuna:
"Alice in Wonderland" you say? Ha, I can definitely see the influence! Great work, as always.
:iconthewanderingspaz:
Very nice. I like it hehe ^.^.
It does not have to be from the writer's actual experience to be well done. So erm... for lack of better wording: Well done!

--
~The Wandering Spaz
:iconhpets:
:) Much thankees!

--
Beware the Evil Spork! :spork:
"There is no utensil of more unrelenting malice..."


"Always be yourself... unless you suck." (Joss Whedon)
:iconpixy-brand:
Very nice little poem my friend :+fav: here!

--
~Just 'cause I'm cute doesn't mean I'm not dangerous~
:iconhpets:
Thanks! :) Though I hope I haven't started a habit of getting the urge to write poetry during my English class. (Wouldn't be the first time... ah Critical Theory... ;) )

--
Beware the Evil Spork! :spork:
"There is no utensil of more unrelenting malice..."


"Always be yourself... unless you suck." (Joss Whedon)
:iconpixy-brand:
Hey you've seen my class incuded doodles.

--
~Just 'cause I'm cute doesn't mean I'm not dangerous~
:iconhpets:
Well the way things are going right now I'm probably going to spend this upcoming class writing poems as well... I'm currently on a writer's high from finishing my essay, and even though I know sleep would be a good idea, I have such an urge to do more writing! :)

It went quite well, by the way. Oh what a difference it makes when you're writing about something that interests you!

...Alrighty... Turning of the computer and going to bed... now....ish

--
Beware the Evil Spork! :spork:
"There is no utensil of more unrelenting malice..."


"Always be yourself... unless you suck." (Joss Whedon)

Details

February 22, 2008
642 bytes

Statistics

11
3 [who?]
67 (0 today)
0 (0 today)

Site Map