Good for you my dear. And if you ever want me to kick Maggie's ass just ask.

--
~Just 'cause I'm cute doesn't mean I'm not dangerous~

Nah, this message came from the up high: the owner. Someone I very much respect, but a very intense person, and one who commands a lot of authority. Talking with her about the future of my employment is an overwhelming enough experience as is. I think I handled the conversation pretty well... And then I had a nice cry as soon as it was over.

Here I thought I was over it, but I'm definitely still feeling pretty emotional. This would be so damn much easier if I had some clear idea of places to seek employment elsewhere. I know I'd enjoy working in film, but the industry is so awful right now, here... And here I thought the recession couldn't hurt me because I have no money.

The biggest problem is I know what I want. I want a crappy little place to myself, enough money to sustain myself, and the time and space to write. And right now that feels so far away.

The bookstore situation is fantastically complicated. Logic and pride are having a lovely argument inside my head (figuratively... no crazy voice-hearing here! ), and I honestly can't tell which is more right.

And to top it off, all these heavy emotions are making it really difficult to concentrate on writing.

(One last note: It's kind of late right now and I know from experience that I almost always feel way better about these sorts of things after a night's sleep... So take my emotions right now with a certain grain of salt.)

--
Beware the Evil Spork!
"There is no utensil of more unrelenting malice..."


"I think I just verbed a noun." (Joss Whedon)

you need are really big glomp! LIKE HUGE! I would tackle you but that involves a plane and still not ready for that journey!
I could phone her and leave weird messages... and she wont know cause its from ireland?! heeheehee

--
It is in the moments of change
that we truly show who and what we are.
Unable to forget the past
but to struggle to move on from it.

Thanks for the offer, but no, I'm good. Talking it over in writing with you guys really helps me sort things out, though. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm going to do about Kidsbooks, now: A polite email of "I'm sorry, I can't make that sort of commitment at this time, but please do consider me whenever you need an extra person to work." I'll also probably add something about how much I've enjoyed working there (to instill a little guilt), and point out how little choir and school would be likely to conflict (so that when they realize it would cost them more to train an extra person in September for fulltime work in October, they might still think to call on me, at least for a bit).

Seriously, it's about time I got to hold some power over them... And what better way for me than through the written word?

--
Beware the Evil Spork!
"There is no utensil of more unrelenting malice..."


"I think I just verbed a noun." (Joss Whedon)

Omg, go kick some ass girl!

--
Mew...

-----------------------------------------------

One day it'll become big and strong and who knows what it'll do...
[link]

Thanks!

--
Beware the Evil Spork!
"There is no utensil of more unrelenting malice..."


"I think I just verbed a noun." (Joss Whedon)

truly! good for you my dear!

--
It is in the moments of change
that we truly show who and what we are.
Unable to forget the past
but to struggle to move on from it.

Hey I'm always here to listen to emotions no matter what is fueling them. You have a right to emotional. Take your time. Think through your options and don't be afraid to try something new

--
~Just 'cause I'm cute doesn't mean I'm not dangerous~

I love you guys!

I'm definitely feeling more decided, now. I don't feel I can accept the bookstore's potential-employment terms. And it's not just about personal pride (though it is about personal pride); I honestly could not handle having that job yanked out from under me one more time, and if I apply only to be passed over for someone more experienced, that is precisely what it will be. So I'm saying no. I'll say that I can't make the kind of commitment they're asking for, but I am still very available and if they ever need me they can call me. That puts me in control, and for me that control is worth temporary unemployment.

But I definitely need to get back on the job-search horse soon. I'm spending too much of my free time worrying about finding work and moving out, and not enough time getting actual writing done...

--
Beware the Evil Spork!
"There is no utensil of more unrelenting malice..."


"I think I just verbed a noun." (Joss Whedon)